Jennifer is an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) trainer,
with offices in London and Zurich.
For more about these services, visit here.
Wayne Dyer’s family: choosing to be joyful as they send his ashes out to sea
In my last blog, I sang the praises of “tap the crap,” noting that stuck emotions, like blocked toilets, need flushing. Today's blog moves swiftly into more lovely territory: what I call “scented candle” or “Choices” tapping. This is a wonderful EFT variant, when deployed in the right context. (Note: in a bathroom with a blocked toilet, flush first, before you light a scented candle! By analogy, be prepared if necessary to “tap the crap” before you tap a choice.)
An extremely helpful way to choose your response to a particular situation, it uses the normal tapping points but introduces some positive language. You’ll see how it’s done in my “two-funerals” story.
Many years ago, I attended my first Swiss funeral. My much-older friend Meli greeted me outside with a rather hassled “oh, Jennifer! It's nice of you to come, but I'm afraid I can't look after you!” Confused and wrong-footed, I scurried into the back of the church, and sat down far from the congregation. I understood very little of the service, felt awkward, and fled as soon as possible.
Fast forward ten years: I had another Swiss funeral to attend, of an old lady in a nursing home where I had volunteered. This time, I knew about EFT, and I decided to tap a pre-emptive Choice: “Even though I feel awkward and worried that it will be like last time, I choose to...” (I carefully considered the right wording)“...feel really welcome, come what may.”
I then tapped a trio of rounds, which is the “Choices” protocol.
v Setup: while tapping on the Karate Chop point, I stated the problem and my choice.
v First round: I stated the negative on each tapping point (Eyebrow through to Top of Head, same as in “tap the crap”).
v Second round: I repeated the positive Choice on each point.
v Third round is a hybrid: I alternated stating the problem (“I feel awkward and worried”) with the positive choice (“I choose to feel welcome”).
I thus neatly attached the antidote to the problem.
The result kicked in immediately. In the tram, instead of burying my head in my crossword, I looked around, noticed a woman holding an announcement like mine, smiled, and asked her in German if she was also going Marta’s funeral. I explained I knew no-one; we walked into the cemetery together. She introduced me to Marta’s daughter, who lives in the UK. “I’m Jennifer,” I said, “you probably don’t know me, but...” I got no further before the daughter flung open her arms, gave me the most enormous hug, and invited me warmly to the after-funeral event, saying she’d been longing to meet me!
What a difference two minutes of tapping made!
So: next time you have something upcoming—an event, presentation, difficult conversation—that feels challenging, and you want to fine-tune how you will feel and behave in the actual moment, do try Choices tapping!
If you’d like more detailed recipe for how to do it, please email me and I’ll happily send you a handout.