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DISCOVERING WHAT WAS MISSING

3/20/2014

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By E J Shaffert 
E J is a therapist and counsellor with Holistic London, specialising in relationships, emotional difficulties, and discovering life purpose.  
For information about his work, visit here.

"As a body psychotherapist, my approach to therapy is to work with the whole person:  mind, body, emotions, and spirit.

When I first discovered this way of working, at the Institute of Core Energetics in NYC, I became really inspired and thought,  “At last, I can have all parts of myself!”

When I am working with a client, I don't just listen for one concern, but I help the client explore the bigger connections, to find the original source of distress from which many personal concerns could be emerging. I call these “imprinting experiences.”

But, once discovered, how can we resolve those early experiences, to feel better and more fulfilled?


Right now, here is an exercise that you might help you illuminate the source of some of your problems:

Write down a concern or complaint that you have in your life -- something that routinely bothers you.  Then, write down some of the physical sensations and emotions that come up when you think about that problem. 

Next, write down the negative message you say to yourself when you feel this way (such as
"this will never change," or "it's hopeless" etc.)

Now, allow yourself to "free associate."  What is a very early memory of when you first felt that way?  At first, the memory may seem unrelated, but take time to receive it.  Who was there, and what was said or done?  And from that experience, what decisions did you like about life
as a whole?

This will give you the sense of an imprinting experience, connected to your entire outlook of life.  But then, how can you change this?

The next part is to explore:  In that early, distressing situation, what positive qualities were missing?  Allow yourself, again, to free associate, and try to write down three qualities that were missing (such as
love, understanding, security...)

And then, set a goal, to find ways
to bring those exact qualities that were missing, to the whole of your life, from now on.  Be creative, and see yourself as the source of the wellbeing that was missing for you in your early, distressing experience.

Try this, and if you would like to develop this further, contact me directly for more assistance."


-- EJ Shaffert

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