Patrick is a Cognitive-Behavioral Hypnotherapist with HOLISTIC LONDON. For information about his work, visit here.
Have you ever said yes to something and later cursed yourself for having had the idea? This may come up when you agree to speak to a large group, or in many other situations.
Often there is a discrepancy between the idea of something and actually doing it. That creates a conflict between various parts of us. There is the person inside us who came up with the idea, and the one who has to deliver.
These same kind of issues are often found in organisations. You may be familiar with staff who struggle to deliver the unrealistic targets that the boss sets, for lack of time or resources. Have you ever had a boss like that?
That is not conducive to good industrial relations and morale of the staff. Similarly, within ourselves, having conflicts between different parts is not a good start for any performance.
Sometimes we don't have a choice in the matter. It is imposed on us by the circumstances. Suddenly you are thrown in front of a group, since you are the one who knows about the topic.
At other times, a "good" idea presents itself as a challenge, and you commit to it before you have thought it through.
When I was a kid in my village, we would spend the time at the river. When I saw the other kids diving, it looked cool, and I had to have a go at that.
I thought everybody around would be impressed. So I climbed the high boulder, looked down at the people and the water below... and everything seemed so much more distant from that place.
You know how it is: You can't back down. It’s preferable to die of injuries than of shame and humiliation. I had butterflies in the stomach but that didn't give me wings!
Ideally, we take time to beforehand to reflect. As with good management skills, being able to clarify your intentions and plans, and to check that you are in agreement on all fronts is essential. It promotes good relations between the one who came up with the idea and the one who has to deliver.
This is how you can begin to reconcile the demands of the situation and your personal resources.
- What is the situation?
- What are your skills/experience?
- Who is the audience, and their expectations? if you are on your own, what are your expectations?
- What is the worst thing that can happen? What is the best thing that can happen?
At least, this should give you something that you can work on, to find the missing information or get appropriate resources.
Having regained control, you will rub your hands and find that they are not sweaty.
If you are interested in participating in a workshop on social performance, please check the workshops section or contact me on: Patrickbaron@gmail.com or 07957 661 887